I woke him and confronted him, he dismissed it as banter — they had got talking on a sports website. Friends are great and as you say, they always seem to have the answer but the important part of all this is that you find the answer that's right for you. From what you describe, it sounds as if your relationship has got into a pattern that really is an emotionally abusive one. I'm not for a moment suggesting that this is an easy thing to contemplate. You tell me this has gone on for a long time and I wonder if this is because at some level you feel you can change your husband's behaviour. Seeing a counsellor and having some time for yourself may help you decide how you want to take things forward. Ask Ammanda: My husband keeps cheating. Counselling may help you to have a different conversation with him, and if you go together this could be helpful, but I doubt he'll be keen. For you though, it sounds like you didn't sign up to that and are constantly on the alert, and as so often happens, ending up almost playing detective, trying to second guess every word and action.
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